At the beginning of our trip to the UK, my husband and I decided that one way we could enhance the enjoyment of our journey was by creating categories “Academy Awards” style and then searching the countryside for candidates. So, we set out looking for the “Most Atmospheric Castle,” the “Best Stretch of Coastline,” and the “Prettiest Village.” We also included superlatives such as “Most Humorous Overheard Comments,” “Greatest British TV Find,” and “Funniest Sign.” Today, I’m going to present to you our top five in this last category, “Funniest Sign”. Listing them all would simply take up too much space, so we selected the strangest, most original of the candidates we uncovered and placed them in order of the amount of amusement they provided us upon first seeing them. Enjoy.

#5 – Upon first glance, we thought this sign, which is located down a back alley in Salisbury, read “Whitehead Wizard.” And we were fully prepared to believe such a charming village could support such an absurd business, seeing how close it was to Stonehenge and Glastonbury, the last of which is well known for its population of New Age followers. However, once we looked closely and corrected our vision, we still weren’t completely disappointed. After all, a “vizard” means a mask for disguise or protection. We thought this still might turn out to be an interesting business after all. Until we stepped closer to see the small letters at the bottom of the sign that explain they are solicitors (what we might call attorneys here in the US). So, no wizards, or even vizards. Bummer. 

#4 – We uncovered this bizarre sign also in Salisbury, along the River Walk. The store was closed when we passed by, otherwise I might have slipped inside to ask them why exactly their signs letters were written backwards and upside down. Our best guess – it certainly caught our attention.

#3 – This sign is the name of a pottery shop on Cathedral Street just down from the Dunkeld Cathedral in Dunkeld, Scotland. We chuckled at their clever turn of phrase, and hoped that was the real reason for their choice in moniker, and not because they actually made chamber pots to “Go Pottie” in. 

#2 – To Operate Turn Handle – When we caught sight of this placard posted on an inside door in the Red Lion Hotel in Salisbury, we almost wet our pants laughing. Perhaps it was only the fatigue from our journey making us goofy, but you can’t deny how hilarious and absurd this sign is. Nor stop yourself from contemplating why the hotel felt the need to post such a sign in the first place. 

#1 – These signs popped up several times as we drove down a winding road between Stonehenge and Avebury. After zooming past the first posting, we questioned whether the sign had said what we thought it had. Then we wondered whether it was a colossal joke. Do they really need a “Tank Crossing” sign? Do they truly even make them? We quickly discovered that they, indeed, do, though we never actually needed to slow to let a tank pass. We could only surmise that a military base stood nearby. I just hope that, unlike deer, the tank stops to look both ways before crossing, because though you can certainly survive a head on collision with a buck, I doubt you would be walking away from a crash with a tank.