I love being tan! There are few things like sporting a healthy bronze glow to your legs and arms to instantly make you feel more beautiful and slimmer. Especially, when those legs and arms are normally palest ivory with pink undertones and speckled with freckles. 

As a natural redhead of distinct northern European descent, I do not tan. Not without the help of a bronzing product. In sunlight I burn, lobster red. And if I’m unfortunate enough to fry my appendages they do not fade to a healthy tan. They return to white. 

I hate it! I hate having to douse myself in SPF 50 or higher every time I leave the house. The further south I travel, the worse it gets. On the beach, I must slather on SPF 100 to ensure I don’t cook. Needless to say, I do not lay-out. I cower underneath a wide-brimmed hat beneath a beach umbrella and avoid the sun’s rays as much as possible. I do not believe in tanning beds. Regardless of the argument that they are unhealthy, they simply would not work for me. Perhaps if I slipped inside one for 2 minutes every day for a month I might develop a faint tinge of color, but that is definitely not worth my time or money to attempt. 

No, my only hope of color comes from a bottle. Which also requires time and money for maintenance, thus the reason I usually only trot out the self-tanner for special occasions, like my brother’s wedding this weekend. But, oh how I love the sight of my bronzed skin! It makes me green-eyed with jealousy at all of you who tan so easily. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that my skin will remain younger looking for shunning the sun, something I’ve been complimented on by medical professionals and friends alike. But, the truth is, I would trade in my youthful, rosy-hued, temperamental complexion for melanin more susceptible to solar manipulation in a heartbeat.